As the Spirit of God Entered My Life
The Vanishing: The Approaching Final Door
The finality of death, fueled by my inward thinking gives way to a selfish existence in the continued turning of the world of which I have lived in. I looked into myself and outward to the world around me, as if I am the only one viewing it. I experience it, I live in it. How could it continue on with out me? The foolish thought that I was somehow different than everyone else who came before me. This fear of the world without me, would drag me down to darkness, where I would wonder in sorrow of how it would be without me to see it.
The trees continued to grow, the wind continued to blow. The birds continued to soar above. The mountains continued to be loved. How dare it! It all was mine, to use, to have, to hold and love. To keep as a selfish gift unto me.
More essential, the finality of death was the end all. I often wondered for what purpose am I given life? This existence can’t be all there is. There must be more. As I came to know God, He would open my eyes, give me wisdom and also a reason for being.
The Appearance: Understanding Existence
The experiences of this world draw me closer to the most important choice I would ever make. Now, behind me, the most important door has opened and brought a long needed change in my life. It has brought a revelation that the world I live in is not my world to take and hold as my own.
For so long, this was my way of life. Being the center of existence was the world I lived in. I solemnly cared for and loved others, but while others died, my world continued. Family members passed, and my eyes did not yet open. So far away was the understanding that I, too, would be gone from this world one day. It was right there, yet my ignorance would cover it up for nearly fifty years.
This world is a place we all share, we are called upon to create our own experiences within it. These experiences exist to shape us into the person we were meant to be spiritual. When we are moved towards making a choice to believe, have faith, and follow in the footsteps of God, the Holy Spirit takes over and grows within us things that we never thought existed.
With eyes now wide open, my thoughts are not only my own. As yesterday closes the door, there are no chances given that would allow me to change what is closed off behind. I can see what is behind me and I know that I am clearly unable to change any of it. I can only go forward knowing that my weakness and fears are His canvas to create what is to be. The person I was meant to be, walking side-by-side with God leading my way.
In focus is the meaning of life and why I am here today. This gift given to me, is to share with the woman I love and wish to grow old with. I rest easier now, with hope that I may see her again, later and for an eternity. Together, side-by-side with God still leading our way.
John 3:3-21 (King James Version)
3Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
4Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
5Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
6That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
8The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.
9Nicodemus answered and said unto him, How can these things be?
10Jesus answered and said unto him, Art thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things?
11Verily, verily, I say unto thee, We speak that we do know, and testify that we have seen; and ye receive not our witness.
12If I have told you earthly things, and ye believe not, how shall ye believe, if I tell you of heavenly things?
13And no man hath ascended up to heaven, but he that came down from heaven, even the Son of man which is in heaven.
14And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up:
15That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
21But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.>